My perception of reality is based on the 5 senses. I see it, hear it, touch it, taste it and smell it, therefore it must be, right? I use those 5 inputs as references so I can interpret how to react. Where the real magic occurs is in the mind, not only can I react to the 5 senses, I can think.

I remember hearing the phrase 'I think therefore I am' back in high school. It makes a lot of sense and is pretty reassuring. Ok, so I AM. Great! WHO THE HELL AM I, WHERE THE HELL AM I, AND WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?

Most religions believe that there is a soul, and a person's physical body is just a host. When the body dies, the soul's existence continues. Other's believe that there is no soul, a person's existence is just a fluke of nature and when we die, we just cease to exist. I have concluded that I simply don't have enough information to truly believe one way or another. Others invite me to follow their beliefs, but I can not base what I believe on what someone else believes, I can only base my beliefs on what makes the most sense to me.

Dying and having every aspect of who I am just decompose, would be incredibly futile to me. What's the point of that? I enter into existence because of a chemical and electrical combination lasting an incredibly short amount of time in a place this complex, while at any second I could cease to exist in any way and I am pressured by others in this situation, regardless of what they believe, to conform my existence to theirs?

Even though I believe limited existence is just as plausible as any other explanation, I just don't buy it. I look at the complexity of the environment that I exist in and it tends to reassure me that this most likely is not just a fluke. O.K., so I believe that I will exist beyond the environment I am currently in. Great! I can slow down a little and curb my feelings of futility. If I am wrong and I did cease to exist after I die, I wouldn't be around to regret this belief.

At this time I'd like to point out that I still don't know who I am, where I am, or why I am here.

Where I am is pretty easy. I am here. Here has been conveniently defined for me by others who are here and others who were here: I am in a rented space owned by the city of Minneapolis located within Minnesota in the midwestern area of the United States which is part of the North American continent on the planet earth orbiting around the sun which is floating in the Milky Way galaxy somewhere in a space that contains an infinite amount of other galaxies. What the hell, I might as well accept that. After all this place is complex enough to keep my experience interesting.

Who I am isn't quite as easy. Since I exist here and will exist after my body is no longer a valid host, I can't avoid wondering: where did I come from, what occurrences led to me being here at this time, and will I remember about this existence after I've left my host? If I don't retain the memories of my time here, I see that as having a limited existence. I would like to look back after I leave here and think 'Wow! That was cool!'. What would be my reality at that time? I don't know, but it intrigues me.

While searching for the answers to these questions, I have concluded that there are too many possibilities and no proof to substantiate any particular philosophy. Alrighty! So where does that leave me? I entered here with the cooperation of two other hosts, was guided (according to their beliefs) into the society of other souls, and I am either experiencing amnesia or just plain new. Basically, all I know is this reality.

Well, until I get more information, I guess I am who I make myself here. Now, how do I want to live out my existence here? First I probably should take a good look at the environment I am in. There are a lot of people coexisting here, making up many different cultures, societies, and belief systems. This raises some questions concerning ways of existing with others; what I need, what they need and what I feel my responsibilities are to them.

Here are a few of my questions: What kind of contribution to society can I leave? If my contributions are seen by some people as having a negative affect on society, what responsibilities do I have to them vs. responsibilities to my beliefs? Is a contribution necessary, or can I just observe without getting too involved? Will interaction with others cause some to put unwanted expectations on me? If a person creates expectations for me based on their beliefs, how will I deal with it? Is it fair for me to act out their expectations, without truly believing they are necessary? Will my character be unfairly judged based on other people's broken expectations of me? How much control do I have over other people affecting my existence? How much control over my existence do I need to give to other people? If I choose to live by my beliefs over other people's beliefs, will I offend those people unfairly? Is everyone ultimately responsible for their own existence?

The answers to these questions, and countless others, are subjective and all come down to what I believe is right for me. I can choose how I coexist with others, as they can choose how they coexist with me. There are many people, many nations and many different interpretations of what reality is all about.

Now what? Well I guess I'll just bide my time, keep living according to what I believe and exist. You?

...I would love to hear any comments you may have. I can be reached via email at: bob@urbanproductions.com